It all started with missing my garbage pickup for the week.  Yes, it had been assigned, and yes, it had been forgotten.  I, the mother, am truly the last line of defense!

I was turning into our driveway from taking a couple of my children to school Wednesday morning when I realized it was garbage day, it was 7:35 a.m.  I flew up the drive and took a quick overview of my options.  Either I pile my garbage in the back of the Suburban, not a good choice considering I had walked by the day before and realized it was in need of a bath, or I jump on the lawn mower and muscle the container along the driveway and up to the road. Not having much time to think, by now it was 7:38 and the garbage deadline was 7:30, I chose the lawnmower. I was feeling uneasy knowing I had colossal potholes to navigate around along our long lane, but knew I had little time to waste. With a death grip on the garbage handle trying to keep the can tipped just right behind my seat, I flew down the driveway as I decided which path through the land mine of potholes would be safest. That's when I saw, out of the corner of my eye, the big orange machine. Void of trash cans by the side of the road, he didn't even slow down. And why would he, I had only started my journey and was still hidden beneath the trees. At that moment in time my head said stop! Turn around, avoid the needless waste of effort, it's too late!! But my heart couldn't cope with reality. I had started this journey and I was going to see it through! I continued on my unnecessary path, listening to all the untruthful reasons why...it really wasn't the garbage man, he will come back, surely he saw me and he will come back! Yeah, right! As I struggled up the last hill, by now my arm was numb, tried my best to wave at the bus driver who hangs out by our driveway on break or something, I felt a sense of needless accomplishment. I had completed my journey, and with one final maneuver with the lawnmower I safely parked the garbage in it's rightful place! If only I could make my reality come true, the garbage man would be along real soon, maybe even at this very moment! Ok, maybe not! However, I feel the need tell you that I have this weird relationship with the garbage. It is, after all, waste and unwanted stuff, right? But for some reason, I am overjoyed when it is garbage day. It's like the chance to rid my house of clutter, to make new again, to start clean. I love garbage day!! Obviously, you may get a feeling for how much I hate missing garbage day! I left my garbage can out by the side of the road for 2 days, hoping for a miracle. Last night, I finally got a grip on reality and had one of my boys bring the garbage down off the side of the road. Still hanging onto the faint chance that the can would be empty, my hope quickly evaporated as I could tell by his effort it was not! However, it would not be making the long journey back home until next week, empty and bathed. Hopefully, in a weeks time no one feels the need for an extra full garbage can. (The first month we moved here, someone heisted our garbage and our can!!) So why the garbage story? I've been in a bad mood ever since! This morning, when my husband said that he was happy I wasn't mad at him, I told him I was, didn't know why, and that I was mad at the air too!! How immature is that!! He is so sweet! Somedays do you wake up feeling mad at the world? I have to say that I do. I don't know why small things like garbage cans set me off, but they sometimes do. The worst part about it is that I spend so much energy begin mad, I get so exhausted and have nothing good to give to anyone. Last night, I lay in bed thinking that I was the worst mother in the world, which made me even more mad. God's got a lot of work to do with me! Lord willing, someday I'll be able to truthfully say that I never wake up in a bad mood. So, for anyone who woke up angry today like myself, I prayed for you. I prayed that little thinks like 'garbage cans' wouldn't bring us down. I prayed we would guard our thoughts, that we would live in reality and would listen and respond to the truth. I prayed that we could see the bigger picture of what God is doing around us. I prayed that we would realize that we could have it a lot worse, and we are truly blessed. I prayed that we could look beyond our own four walls, and see the needs of others, and act. I prayed that God would give us joy in our hearts, happiness in our homes, and peace in the midst of our own 'storm'. (no matter how big or small it may be!) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4 I thanked God too, that in spite of ourselves, He really loves us!! I'm feeling better already! Hope you are too!! God's at work today!! Are you aware of it? Jamie